"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Over the past two weeks, I have shared on Discipleship and Spiritual Maturity, how, as Kingdom leaders, we are called to pour into others and multiply, and how that process of becoming requires surrender and time. This week I want to bring these messages together in the context of our most important relationship and partnership on earth. Our marriage.
Last week, Amy and I had the privilege of hosting the Abide & Lead Gathering at Pursell Farms. We brought together twenty couples who have played a meaningful role in building and shaping Abide & Lead, Heritage Forum, and Heritage Beginnings. Our heart was simple: to pour back into the men and women who have so generously invested their time, energy, and resources into this ministry. It was an opportunity to encourage them, strengthen their marriages, and remind them that the work God has called us to is not something we are meant to do alone. Watching these couples connect, share meaningful conversations, and be encouraged together was one of the highlights of our year. It reinforced something I believe deeply but don't say often enough: the most powerful ministry platform we have as leaders is not our business or our influence in the community; it's our marriage.
Three Principles of Living on Mission Together
Your Spouse Is Your Most Important Ministry Partner: As leaders, we bring enormous intentionality to our businesses, casting vision, aligning people, building cultures with care and purpose. But how many of us bring that same intentionality to the partnership we have with our spouse? God did not design marriage primarily as a comfort arrangement. He designed it as a covenant partnership for Kingdom impact. We were designed to need each other, to complement each other, cover each other's weaknesses, and amplify each other's strengths in the pursuit of something greater than either of us could accomplish alone. At the retreat, Coach Tom Mullins challenged the men powerfully on this. He encouraged us to step fully into our role as spiritual leaders of our homes, welcoming God's presence each day, prioritizing God's presence in our families, and serving as faithful gatekeepers of the spiritual health and direction of our households. That is not a passive role. It is an active and courageous call. Amy did her part too by encouraging the women to embrace their partnership in that mission with humility, grace, and genuine purpose. When a husband leads well spiritually, and a wife embraces her role as a full partner in that mission, the two become a Kingdom force that is truly greater than the sum of their parts. "Then the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).
Unity in Marriage Requires Intentional Investment: One of the great dangers for driven, mission-oriented leaders is that we pour our best energy into our businesses and ministries and then bring whatever is left over home to our spouses. I know this tension intimately. Amy has graciously and honestly reminded me of it more than once over our 35 years of marriage. The relationship that deserves our greatest intentionality can often be the one that gets our least deliberate attention. Genuine marital partnership, the kind that sustains Kingdom mission over decades, requires three dimensions working together. A deep and genuine friendship that enjoys each other and chooses each other consistently. A shared vision and purpose that gives marriage direction and meaning beyond the daily routines of life. And a romantic love that is nurtured and protected as one of the most sacred gifts God has given us. These three dimensions do not develop accidentally. They are cultivated through praying together, consistent and intentional investment, meaningful conversations, shared experiences, honest communication, and the daily discipline of choosing each other above the competing demands that are always pressing in. We build our companies with strategy and intentionality. Our marriages deserve at least the same level of deliberate care. "Be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3).
Living on Mission Together Multiplies Your Kingdom Impact: Discipleship multiplies our influence; maturity deepens our capacity; and a marriage genuinely unified in Kingdom mission becomes one of the most powerful multiplication forces available to the body of Christ. Coach closed our retreat Wednesday morning in the Secret Place with one of the most clarifying frameworks I have heard for living on mission as a couple. He challenged every couple to pursue our Pauls, mentors who will pour into our marriages. Barnabas's, peer couples who walk alongside us with encouragement and accountability. And our Timothies, younger couples we can intentionally disciple and pour into together. This framework applies to married couples living on Kingdom mission. Amy and I are committed to pursuing all three. We have been blessed by couples who poured into us. We have peers who sharpen and encourage us. And we have the privilege of pouring into younger couples just beginning to discover what God has for their families. That is discipleship through marriage. And it multiplies for generations in ways we will never fully see on this side of heaven. "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves" (Romans 12:10).
The greatest leadership legacy any of us will leave is not built in a boardroom. It is built in a home where a husband and wife are genuinely unified in their love for God, their love for each other, and their shared commitment to the mission He has placed on their lives together. Amy and I are still growing, still maturing, and still learning to live on mission together more fully after 35 years. But I am more convinced than ever that the best is still ahead for us and for every couple who chooses to pursue this together with intention and faith.
Challenge Question: Are you and your spouse genuinely living on mission together, sharing a common vision, investing in your friendship and partnership, and pursuing Kingdom impact as a unified team? What is one intentional step you can take this week to strengthen that partnership and align more fully around the mission God has placed on your family?
Prayer: Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and for designing us to need each other in the pursuit of Your Kingdom purposes. Forgive us for the times we have neglected our most important partnership in pursuit of other good things. Help us to love our spouses with the same intentionality and sacrifice that Christ showed the church. Give us unity, friendship, and a shared sense of mission that makes our marriages not just healthy but genuinely fruitful for Your Kingdom. May the legacy we build together ripple forward for generations to Your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.
The most powerful ministry platform you have is not your business or your influence. It is your marriage. Invest in it this week with the same intentionality you bring to everything else that matters. Have a blessed week!
Have a great week!